Unexpected Package
Last week a friend of mine (ooh la!) asked for my mailing address but told me to temper my expectations. So for a day I wonderd what it could be and then forgot about it over the weekend. Last night as I was going through my mail there was a large envelope from a finacial advisor. I would have disregarded it as junk solicitation except for the friend’s name (ooh la!) scribbled over the return address.
So, before I got around to opening it, and while I was giving Batya a bath I was conemplating how I would respond. So, this friend (ooh la!) sent me a solicitation to be my financial advisor. I made a mental list of pros and cons and decided how I would respond. Some of my would be comments included:
- PRO: If I retained him, he would be working for me and thus I could command him to give me his BOC.
- CON: If I retained him, I could count on my portfolio going to crap during three day Woot-offs.
etc. etc. etc.
So, I finally get around to opening the package. Fancy paper, company leter head, form letter format..alright..I’ll read anyway..what are you selling?
The first sentance reads “Dear Micah, I hope this letter finds you and your family and/or loved ones and/or domesticated animals well.”
Okay..shmuck…you are soliciting my business and can’t even customize the first sentance? The following paragraph goes on about winter depression and the upcoming Terps games..where is he going? My winter depression is because of the Terps miserable loss to Clemson..but I digress…
And then he (ooh la!) goes on. Wait a minute this isn’t a solicitation for business..and this thick packet attached is not financial performance information…wait..what is this? An email forward masquarading as a business letter. As he (ooh la!) explains “I present to you the Anti Duke Manifesto: Why we Hate Duke - A Comprehnsive Analysis. 2nd ed., by Brian Allen.
Attached is a 24 page ‘manifesto’ complete with a Foreword to the second edition. Ooh la!, Thank you! I am ammused by both your delivery as well as consideration for my attention span. You are correct that i would not have read all 24 pages as an email forward. You are correct that I will enjoy this more on paper. I applaud you for the proessionalism with which you drafted your cover letter. I look forward to reading this. Actually I smile everytime I see this thick packet just knowig it exists. Ooh la! Thank you - now get back to work!
